5 of life's toughest philosophical questions answered!

A lot of these age-old pondering have been outdated, mostly due to physics, logic, and Superman. I am tired of hearing these questions that are pretty solvable using common sense and I want new and less boring ones. So here are some of the questions that people who think they are smart might ask you to make you think, and the answers you can give them to put them in their place. 1) Can God create a boulder he can't lift? A) Of course he could! What a stupid question! I know God can create a boulder he can't lift because I can create a boulder he can't lift! And I'm not just saying, "well it's in my mind so technically it's not made of matter, therefore un-liftable". (Although, if that answer does it for you then go ahead!) It's easy! You take a boulder he can just barely lift and you double it and glue the two together. Look, the Bible never said God was all-powerful, we just assume that. A three-year-old thinks his/her dad is all powerful, but is he? I'd submit that he couldn't even lift a small boulder! Another reason why it's a stupid question is because of Superman. If Superman, the stand-in for God, could die and get beat up by a man in a suit, and all that stuff, then God ain't infinitely powerful. If someone was able to create Superman and give him weaknesses, then it would apply to God, too. 2) If a tree falls down in the forest and no one's there to hear it, does it make a sound? A) yeah, you idiot! If a bomb falls on a village and no one's around to see it, was a village of people still killed? If a guy breaks into a house, kills everyone inside, and escapes without being caught, is he still a criminal? What kind of perspective on life do you need to have to not understand that things happen even when you're not around to witness it? What, because you're not around, the laws of physics don't count? 3) which came first, the chicken or the egg? A) The egg, you mongoloid! If you believe in evolution, then fish came before chickens, and fish lay eggs! 3.5) which came first, the chicken or the chicken's egg? A) Ok, that's a little tougher. When I was a kid, I never gave it much thought. In the beginning, God willed everything into existence. An egg would have broken or been eaten by other animals, while a chicken would not. Similarly, you can say, "who gave birth to Adam?" No one, God created Man, not fetuses! But if you don't like the creationist's answer, here's simple common sense logic: The chicken came first. "But how?" It hatched from an egg! "But what laid the egg?" A hen, you imbecile! Chickens don't lay eggs! Hens do! 4) How do we know that we're not living in "The Matrix"? A) The Matrix has become the philosophers' favorite movie ever! There has been a lot of talk about our lives being inside a larger world, and The Matrix was able to depict a very complex theory very easy to understand. It made most people who left the theaters ponder, "what if WE are in the Matrix?" Sorry to burst your bubble but we're not. For starters, whoever is the being outside of our world in charge of creating the "Matrix" would have had to make it allowed that we'd be able to come up with the theory that we're in the "Matrix" and even made a movie about it called "The Matrix". Sorry, but there is no hipster capable of being that "meta". And even if it's true, I don't want to believe that there is someone that pretentious. Second, if we were in the "Matrix" there'd be that .00001 percent of Superheroes and glitches and crazy stuff like that. Neo got to be Superman, but we don't have any real-life equivalents!? Also, our world would not have such odd numbers controlling our world. circles wouldn't be possible in the "Matrix", either, because of infitecimals. And other mathematics paradoxes. There would need to be rules that govern our world and ours are too arbitrary and wacky to say that they were created. That's why it's really hard to say "God created the world", when there is no reason why He'd create the world how it is now. Why put in more than one solar system? Why create dinosaurs if they all would have died by the time we existed? Lastly, there's no reason for why we would be put in a "Matrix". In the movie, it was to farm people as batteries. Fine. Even if it was a similarly weird reason, they wouldn't allow a lot of natural phenomena and human behaviors that happen. Like the atomic bombs. Why would an extraterrestrial being keep humans safe from reality and then let hundreds of thousands of people to get cut off instantly. Also, we'd be more productive and efficient if everyone was preset to speak the same language, live longer, used the same system of measurements, and not have religion or war. Basically, our world sucks too much to even be considered the "pre-alpha" build of a "Matrix". 5) What happens when an unstoppable force collides with an immovable object? A) This one is tricky, because according to physics, your head explodes. In video games, Sonic the Hedgehog (unstoppable force) can run into spikes (immovable object) and die! Alternatively, you can create an immovable object so that the unstoppable force will go through it, or around it. The problem is that the unstoppable force isn't a physical thing, therefore, it can't collide with a physical object. Gravity is a pretty unstoppable force, but objects have been able to escape it. Alternatively, there are immovable objects that stay in place because of gravity. Regardless, there isn't such thing as an unstoppable force, because that implies that there's something moving, and any thing, no matter how small has weight, meaning gravity affects it, as would some kind of resistance. So in a physical scenario, the immovable object wins. However, there is such thing as an unstoppable force and it is greater than any immovable object. It's an idea. The pursuit of knowledge, freedom from tyranny, the American Dream (that one's for the bleeding-heart patriots). All these ideas have persisted not only in history to this day, but in all forms of fiction, i.e. Entertaining thought experiments. ...You know, except for when Superman stopped fighting for truth justice, and the "American way".

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